Tuesday, April 18, 2017

Reflections 101

Have you ever led someone by the hand and guided him or her to enter through the gates that guard the boundaries that define the person that you really are?

It seemed then that you were under a mystic spell that made you reveal yourself so easily to that person, not worrying a bit about the reality of rejection, and most of all, not worrying about  the reality - and the risk it accompanies - that opening yourself to him or her is actually exposing your vulnerability - the softest part  of you where he or she can easily stab with a dagger anytime he or she decides  to,  and be sure that hitting that spot will instantly drain all the life that is left in you.

As for me, I did.  I’ve been there.

And it hurt a lot.  It hurt too much that I could not even begin to figuratively describe the pain of betrayal. 

I have picked up the pieces from the experience though. 

I have learned not really to regret but instead, to be cautious the next time I decide to open up to someone.  Moreso, I have learned to really choose the right person to open myself to and reveal the feelings I have deep within.  That is the harder part, though.  The act of opening up to someone is like giving that someone a present, a gift.  That present is a part of yourself, a vulnerable part of you that that someone could break.  It could also be like handing that person a gun, and allowing him or her to aim it at your heart, but trusting that person that he will never pull the trigger. I think Spongebob said that. 

When one opens up, it is like giving up a part of yourself to someone.  That is why choosing the person to reveal yourself to is actually the hardest part because, it is easy to give up something, but it is not easy to find the person worth giving it up for.  

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